I am the queen of wishful thinking!

Choices choices, there every where aren't they? Who knew as we grew older that our choices would be so life altering. Answer the phone to talk to Sky Smith. Where could that possibly lead you? let me give you two ways that could go (We all know there is more than two but so what, we'll be POSITIVE). The phone rings you look down at the caller ID (which we all have now, what happened to being mysterious?) Its ____ (Insert high school crush here, or use generic Sky Smith,(or) Sarah Jones). Do you answer? you panic, If only your friends where here, they'd know just what to do. (scenario 1) you Answer the phone, he (or she) wants to ask you out to lovers pass. Do you accept (yet another choice, but we wont cover the endless possibilities) You end up accepting to go with him (or her). You put on your best pair of jeans that makes your butt look that special way, and your most flattering top, to accent your features. You spend 2 hours getting ready, you are beginning to agree that you look awesome, who could resist this person? He (or she) honks, doesn't ring the door bell no.. that would take to much energy. You run out to the car and get in. You two begin off on your journey. Your expecting a make out session. Or maybe all his (her) friends will be there and you guys will have this awesomely wicked time, chatting and raising hell. He(she) parks the car at lovers pass, after the awkward ride. He(she) stares out his window for a moment then quickly looks at you. He(begins forcefully having his way with you. You don't do anything because, well you wanted this too, but your not sure if you wanted it now, like this, here... maybe, you may not quite have wanted this... But you cant tell him(her). Then you would look like a little scared girl. Besides, after this he(she) will love you right? and you guys will do everything together and it will be awesome, everyone will know you, and they will love you... Before you know it, you've over thought everything and missed the hole experience. But you feel empty, you know you didn't really want this. But if you makes your relationship flourish what's the harm? he(she) drives you home, lets you out. But wait? that's it? I thought we were going to go out and do some stuff? No? you just got used and left. You call all week but no answer, You can try contacting them online but you'll seem so desperate, you end up doing it anyway. still no answer. Even though you may have had an incredible time with them, (be it that night or previous nights) its over, you got burned. Was it a good choice to answer the phone? Here is scenario 2: The phone rings, its _____ (if you don't have a name by now, your not trying!!) do you answer? you hesitate, you wish you knew just what you should do. Suddenly you decide wait, no i think I'll pass, let me seem mysterious and hard to catch. ____ is crushed but your un answered phone. He(she) begins trying to get a date with you all week. By the end of the week, you've blown him(her) off too dang many times to count. Slowly lowering his ego until he completely disappears. Leaving you free, rid of a bad. And available for the next person.

I was going to go a completely different way with choice two, but i ended up relating to the ignored call and felt bad so i made the person sad and then you totally felt bad for them, right? if you didn't, you seriously need to get a heart,you (pause) Grinch! Point being, one choice can make your life, your day, once choice can wreck your day, your life, your flow. Tread careful, this is fair warning. Anyway having said that, i would like to explain something important about my 4 blogs. I have recently got a couple of new old laptops, just to tinker on.. Play games you cant on xp, write things, (mainly blogs and my story). So that i can take them ANYWHERE... anyway I'm having some problems... With laptop one (Toshiba) its great, but i cant get the modem to install correctly. Laptops two and three (same brand model and everything) (Nec Versa) i bought one of them because i wanted to use it for a spare, or parts. Neither came with an ac adaptor. So i bought one, wrong size, I'm waiting for the replacement to arrive. So until one of the problems gets corrected, I'm stuck doing posts on this hunk... Point being that's why I'm so behind. I've been really busy and i would have had time with a laptop, but finding the time to like come up and sit down and think and write its so, hard... with the laptop I could do a little here and a little there. while doing this and that at the same time. anyway your not forgotten. Now about my story. Guess what, I'm so not getting anywhere with it. but my proposal flew, i got accepted! if i can do one thing, get everyone to agree that what i say about my life is true. Which means i have to contact everyone and we have to collaborate and be sure that I'm saying what's real. But I'm going to turn it into something positive. I'm going to a hole nother level. I'm not only going to get them to be sure I'm correct, i want to get their side. I want to have it so that everyone's views in any matter are expressed... Its really hard, I'm totally over extended here. Plus I'm being bugged to go to school. Course no one but me really knows everything I've got my fingers into... Anyway if you got something from me saying I wanted to ask you a question or something to that effect, that's what its regarding. Mainly I'm putting this on here for one person, in hopes they will read this. you know who you are... Its this guy, good guy and everything. Just brings such a pain every time we 're-meet'. Its like hello goodbye, when I had planned on a longer visit... eh its not even worth talking about... So until next time, I'm jess and that's my life, my way! with a smile (hah)