Cant You Hear Me Knockin'?

I don't know why the world is against me today. It’s because I cant “Lean wit it, Rawk Wit it” huh?? So I guess, Don's mad at me, Brains mad at me, And a couple other people i wish to not mention on account of they actual READ THIS! not like anyone even gives a crap about what i say. Do you know i sit here and come up with witty, "title's" for my posts, like when i wrote about my story. I used Johnny Cash's "Cocaine Blues" Lyrics and said "I took a shot of Cocaine, and I shot my woman down!" how fitting was that? Mark took a hit of Crack - Cocaine and everyday made me feel worthless, ugly, stupid, so on. Not that i really wish to reflect on that. I became a better person because of that, and most defiantly becomes a stronger person. Because i wouldn’t let those drugs Define who i was, i wouldn’t let mark define who i was. I'm stubborn and when i put my mind to something i'm going to accomplish it. Much like a friend of mine whom doesn’t think i care about his engine building. Of course i care, its my nature to be overly caring about things like that, that people poor their heart and soul into. Plus its him, so its like a big thing in my life right now. This week has been all about him, that’s probably why i'm still sane, after this evening. Well that is if his friend didn’t pull some bogus shit. And yeah i refer to him as my friend, after the shit he said tonight i could give a crap less what happens to him. Hah i cant even get that out of my finger tips with out feeling horrible about saying it. So for "Big city Bob" as we call him in here, Just listen to that song "Saturday" By the rocket summer, that’s what’s keeping’ me sane through this depressingly rugged week. Sarah Came by, And we were messing around, acting like Young giggly girls, which sarah still is… haha I’m kiddin’ Girl-friend! But we were online, and Don totally took sarah out of context, and I explained, and he didn’t believe me. So that’s his own damn fault, not mine! Plus he didn’t believe sarah was there saying stuff, I was like “You can tell, by the way she types and the way I type.” now this is how sarah would type it up “u can tell cuz I type like shit” I use cap locks, and periods explanation points, I love them! And then I type the way I speak. Sarah types, and if you read it. And imagine her saying it, it would sound like a Black man, whom didn’t use vowels! I figured most people could tell the different in typing. How long have I known Don, and he doesn’t know me yet?? I’ve known him about as long as mr.Iffy, and I believe that Jon would realize, and he probably wouldn’t act like a baby. Yeah I say it like that for a reason, because I just gave Don the address for my blog. Before I didn’t want him to have it, because I didn’t want him to know things. Its like this there are two reasons I’m as weird about men as I am. 1- I’ve had relationships fail, and I’ve left my heart not only trampled and bruised, but I’ve left a piece of my heart everywhere I go, and now, I feel like I have nothing to give. 2- Because Love and Not being able to moderate my feelings anymore, scares me. I don’t want to love someone if they are going to do me wrong. And despite what some may think, money has nothing to do with love. I’ve had guys that bought stuff, and I didn’t like them anymore than now! So that’s my ruling! And I’m sticking to it!
Love,
Jess