Isnt SHE amazing? "My give a damns Busted!"

My guess is from the title you assume its A. Going to be about something positive, and (or) B. its going to be about me or a close friend of mine. Well, sorry to say, its neither, Well its about me, yes, but when is it not? well how about everyday, or to EVERY person i cross. Or here's a good one, TO EVER FUCKING MAN!! thats the main one, men seem to just think of me as a piece of trash. So for once, i want to say how i feel, i dont want to edit and leave things out, to cater to someone. Its my blog and i want to say how i feel. I dont want to feel guilty, and i dont want anyone else to either!! its just words, its just things im writing to make myself feel better. so lately things have been going well, why? because i was leaving town, i was going to see this amazing guy. And instead im still here, alone, by myself. Still waiting until yesterday. I figured because he had car trouble he couldnt make it, so when he got everything all set he'd let me know. But no it didnt work out that way, instead i finally read his blog, and he met some "Amazing girl" well thanks for letting me know? you could have told me, im a big girl i could take it. Dont just leave me hanging, thats such a dick thing to do. You know when i said sometime you can be a dick, but i dont think you mean to. well this is one of those times!!! you should have called, writen, IM'd me. Lord knows i sat here time after time, neglecting my life waiting to hear something anything from you. I think you owed it to me to atleast call and say something. You chicken!!! thats it i guess, you were scared to tell me that you couldnt come, or you found some better piece of ass, so now im just not important. I remember once i told him that he works to hard, he has to have fun sometime. His reply to that was "Its this weekend isnt it?" because we were supposed to get together not this last saturday, but the one before. Yeah you see how well that worked.. You know i told him before we even said boo to eachother that he did that once before and it really hurts to just walk away from me at the drop of a hat. Or in his case, the walk by of an "AMAZING GIRL". I mean he is a friend i've known for some years, and i do want him to be happy, and if thats what makes him happy good, more power to him. But he could have atleast said something, anything to me. I would have understood, and it wouldnt have hurt as bad as it does now. Its almost like he has confirmed everything mark used to say, that i was fat, ugly, stupid, and worthless and no guy would ever want me. Well see, now i have to deal with that. Added stress to my already unpeacefull life. So maybe thats a guilt trip, but why should i feel bad about that? did you?? no... so thanks for another broken promise!! thanks for another let down?? what is this like the 3rd time you've done this?? well then i guess its not you is it? i guess its me, shame on me for believing you. Shame on me for wanting to believe someone gave a shit about me, someone wanted to see me, someone cared. Shame on me for trusting men, when its my moto not to ever trust them. I thought you were different then them, hell i thought you were different than you used to be. But its the same day, just different bull shit. So there is my lovely post, dont like it bugger off!!! -Jessica